Resident Evil: Extinction

Hmmm, this will be an easy review to write. I like my zombie movies juicier, I like my action flicks action-ee-er, I like my movie babes babe-ee-er, and I like my thrillers to thrill me. This one is a cross between The Road Warrior, Land of the Dead, and Merry Christmas Charlie Brown! The zombies just aren't zombie-ish enough and rest of the goings-on in this one just aren't INTERESTING enough. The other really annoying part of this movie are the close-ups of Mila Jovich - there must be a full quarter inch of foundation on her face because she looks like she's made of plastic through the entire film. Fire that makeup artist! Makeup is not supposed to look like makeup when your finished applying makeup to someone whom clearly needs to be wearing makeup, did I just repeat the word makeup four times in one sentence??? I am curious to know which section Blockbuster Video will put the DVD in: Horror, Comedy or Children's Educational - the educational aspect would be to teach young ones how NOT to write stories in the "creative writing" portion of their busy school day. This one scores a 0.5 on the Kev-O-Meter for forcing me to use words that truly do not exist in the Oxford Dictionary to describe its phenomenal dullness and undeniably stupendous lack of luster.

Starring Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, Ali Larter, Iain Glen and Ashanti. Directed by Russell Mulcahy