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Feb 1, 2005 - All the Duckman Character ProfilesBack
Duckman Dossier
Duckman
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| Occupation: |
Private Dick/Family Man (successful at neither) |
| Likes: |
Ranting in his insensitive -- though often eloquent -- way about all that's wrong in society; thinking of himself as someone who tries to make the world a better place (though he rarely, if ever, does); his kids; his partner. |
| Dislikes: |
Political correctness; the fact that a man can't just have a big steak, a cigarette and a slug of gin; the self-doubt that often plagues him, though he tries to hide it; the struggle to connect with his kids; his live-in sister-in-law and mother-in-law. |
| Favorite Saying: |
"What the hell you starin' at?" |
| Self Image: |
"I am not an animal! Well, okay, I'm kind of an animal. I mean, a few of my features are animal-like and I don't wear clothes, and I smell a little outdoorsy most of the time, but I have a job and I talk and stuff, so when I say I'm not an animal, I think, technically, I'm on solid ground." |
Bernice
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| Occupation: |
Overachieving homemaker/fitness buff/community activist |
| Likes: |
Doing three things at once; charging Duckman rent to live in his own house; pointing out Duckman's shortcomings to him and anyone else who'll listen; taking excellent care of her nephews, her mother and herself. |
| Dislikes: |
The fact that she is stuck with Duckman since her twin sister, Duckman's deceased wife, willed the kids and the house to her. |
| Favorite Sayings: |
"Duckman, you slobbering imbecile"
"You animated sweat-stain."
"You bespectacled toilet-brush." |
Ajax
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| Occupation: |
Teenager |
| Likes: |
Everyone -- Ajax is a good but bumbling 15-year-old, a surprisingly gifted poet, and a true romantic. |
| Dislikes: |
Difficult concepts such as not having to knock on his own front door before entering. |
| Favorite Sayings: |
"When people on TV watch TV, is everything backwards?"
"Sometimes I get a really bad headache, like my head is in a vise, and usually it turns out that's exactly what's wrong." |
Charles and Mambo
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| Occupation: |
Being super-intelligent, pre-adolescent twins whose two heads share the same body (hey, somebody's got to do it). |
| Likes: |
Computers, arguing about impossibly intellectual subjects which no one else could possibly understand. |
| Dislikes: |
Being the only ones who understand the impossibly intellectual subjects they like to argue about. |
| Favorite Saying: |
"Let's hope this becomes another repressed memory." |
Cornfed
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| Occupation: |
Duckman's Pig Friday (and darned good detective in his own right) who sounds eerily like a reincarnated Jack Webb. |
| Likes: |
Duckman |
| Dislikes: |
Duckman -- or at least Duckman's tendency to yell at, step on, and take total advantage of him. |
| Memorable Expressions: |
"It feels good to have a real, live client, not just the practice kind you build out of Legos."
"In the Judeo-Christian iconography, the apple represents forbidden fruit, the ultimate sin, implying a desire to engage in the forbidden act, hence becoming a symbol of the ultimate harrassment -- and they were such a good source of vitamin A."
"She'd been around the pool more times than Esther Williams on steroids." |
Fluffy and Uranus
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| Occupation: |
Stuffed animals/annoyingly cute office assistants (they were hired through a computer error). |
| Likes: |
Pleasing everyone; cleaning everything; being politically correct; trying to bring out Duckman's kinder, gentler instincts (which really ticks him off). |
| Dislikes: |
Duckman's disgusting personal habits and nasty outlook. |
| Home Decor: |
Smiley faces and rainbows. |
| Favorite Saying: |
"Have a nice day, Mr. Duckman." (which really, really ticks him off) |
Duckman is a Klasky Csupo / Paramount Television production in association with Reno & Osborn Productions and based upon the underground comic created by Everett Peck.
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